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Last September I put together a picture on the PC for the first time in Mike's course. A mountain landscape with ibexes and suitable shrubs for this height in the mountains. I worked on Conqueror Diamond white 250 size 45 / 58cm. I used clutch pencils 4H 2H HB B2 B4. While I was drawing, I got the feeling that the picture was overloaded. What do you think? Thank you for your assessment

I do like your composition, I'm enjoying looking at your drawing from the entire area...
Plenty tolook at, very attractive art to me.
I'm not an expert,so please forgive I can not provide the feedback,that you have asked for my friend.

Thanks pogArt for the nice words and I am glad that you like it

A good drawing Kurt. Lots of interesting things going on. Your comment about being 'overloaded' is interesting - do you mean too much pencil or too many elements?
- the scan you show is quite grey, but I am assuming that is your device and you have more white showing, more highlight and contrast. So in that respect, no, I do not think it is overloaded with graphite
- Regarding the elements, compositionally I find my eyes bounce around the work trying to settle on one main focus. Perhaps if the mother and fawn were more prominent and closer to us with finer detail that would have focused our attention on them. Or else delete them both altogether and let the two head-to-head pair command the scene? Personally I would have deleted the mother/fawn pair. So yes, perhaps the number or positioning of the ibex overloads the work with subject matter.
...that said it is an engaging scene with drama and impact.
- your rock work is really brilliant and draws the eye to it, perhaps that is why I find it hard to settle. I want to study those rocks! Then I am drawn to those head butting ibex!

This is a good sized work and will frame up beautifully with a plain, understated mat and surround. It will look great framed. Don't be tempted by color mat or complex frame as that would add another level of complexity to the presentation. Let the work speak for itself.

Hi Kurt.
I like the way you thoughtfully placed the ibex to lead the viewer’s eye from the top left, down the rocks to the mother and young and then back up to the duelling males. It’s very effective and makes good use of the space!
I do agree with Linda that the mother and young are a little bit lost among the rocks. If you did choose to eliminate them, you could substitute a very large rock in the lower left for example, to help turn the viewer back up toward the duelling pair. That would also add another level of depth to your composition. That’s just one idea, but overall I really do like the story that your drawing tells!

I agree with most that already been said. It would be good if something would catch your eye and be the focus of the drawing. Actually if the mother goat and fawn and the foliage around them were strongly in focus that may be what I would need since they are in the foreground.

Thank you very much for the suggestions Linda, Laurene and Rideum.
It's nice to hear how you judge the picture and I see it that way that the mother disappears with the two boys. I will try to put them more in the light so that they serve better as eye catchers. Taking away the group is almost impossible in this stage I think. But putting them in the limelight could certainly enhance the picture. Linda, that's exactly what I meant by overloading. There is too much distraction in the whole. Thanks again for the great effort you put into assessing the picture.

This could look overloaded, but I don't think it does, because the mother and her young aren't prominent. She gives us something to find as we tour the piece. However, what's missing, as Linda mentioned, is a focal point. It needs something to grab our attention and draw us into the drawing.

There are a couple of things I want to mention that just concern the drawing itself. I've adjusted your photo to be, I think, tonally more like your original.

First there's an unfortunate optical alignment that once notice I can't "un-notice" There's a straight line cutting through a very rounded rack, and that aligns with the hoof above and the thigh of that goat. Leading from that... that rock is very much in the foreground yet it shares shading and values with the midground. And if that Ibex is on that rock.... I don't think it can be That rock is in the very near foreground, but the Ibex is midground - smaller than mother Ibex - so that Ibex belongs to the midground rocks behind mother. It still works as you drew it, but that Ibex is not on that rock. Something else that bothers me is your use of "drop shadows" to separate out areas of foliage. There are two patches - one to the rear of the mother and the other in the bottom right corner. Certainly allow the bushes to cast shadows - but they can't do that all the way around them. And that device leads to a problem, - the bushes themselves look flat. There's a lot of good work and observation in those bushes, but the effect is wasted by the surrounding dark "drop-shadow" halo.

Try, when you can, to create as much recession within foliage as you do in the rest of the drawing. Then use sharply drawn leaves around the outside to separate the bush from the background. You're already using light leaves around the edges, and you can certainly darken the background behind them, but not in such a regular band as you've done. Find reasons to naturally darken the background areas where needed.

Thank you Mike for judging my Capricorn picture I will try to implement your suggestions. .